Oh to be a PCV!

It´s funny how you can guess and predict how things might be, but you will never really understand what it feels like until you experience it. Does that make sense? What I mean is, before I came to Peru, I knew being a volunteer would be difficult, I would get lonely and frustrated, etc., but I really had no idea what that would feel like. My friend Giorgi and I were just talking about this exact topic the other day - specifically homesickness and lonliness - when someone said they knew how she felt to which she respond, "actually you really don´t." I´m not feeling as homesick as I was a few weeks ago, but lonely, yeah maybe a little. Frustrated...definitely.

I find myself missing my old routine. By that I mean, I went to work every day (I should say that I certainly do not miss working 7 days a week) and knew exactly what was expected of me. Being a PCV is different. I have to make my own work. Furthermore, I constantly get the questions, "What is your work here?" or "When are you going to start working?" When I explain that by having a conversation with them about the water system in the town or just local customs, I am actually working, I tend to get blank stares. Staying busy is also a challenge. I´ve been setting goals for myself and trying to do at least one water and sanitation realted activity a day, but that often does not occupy much time.

One interesting thing about the area I live is that after the earthquake in 2007, there has been an abundance of NGOs that have come through to give the community things like food and shelter. I´m often asked with a smile, "What NGO are you with?" and when I answer, "Oh I´m not with an NGO, I´m with an organization that focuses more on education," the smile usually goes away. I should say however, when I go on to explain what my goals and the goals of PC are, people are generally very receptive and grateful. So, to keep myself busy and to be sure I look like I´m working, I have been trying keep moving forward with the surveys and other tools to do my community diagnostic, but I have to admit, being self-motivated is hard.

We learned during training that things move slow and to not expect that projects and ideas will just take off and get completed easily. Again, I know this and I try to remind myself of this, but it´s still a challenge. At first I thought I would stay busy by working with the local woman´s weaving group and the local JASS (group that manages the water system), but the woman´s group ended and the JASS in the adjoining town only meets once in a while (aka next meeting date unknown).

At the moment my saving grace is the Red Cross that is working in town to build houses for 50 beneficiaries (200 total in my district). They give charlas (lecture-type talks) on topics like family planning, self-esteem, hygiene, etc. and they seem very excited to have me help give charlas. Also, there is a knew environment campaign (the Peruvian Vice-Minister of Envirnment was even here yesterday to kick it off) with a group or promoters so I hope to tag along with them in their work.

When I try to be Logical/Rational Karen, I know that there is a need for me here and that I just need to keep plugging along and eventually there will be results, but these first months of get-to-know-your-community have proved to be challenging in a way that I did not expect.

Sorry for the rather sad entry, but part of the purpose of me doing this blog was to try and share my "real" experience. I hope to write soon about New Years and include some pictures. Chau for now.